[Editor's note: Are you wondering why we haven't posted recently? It's because in Alaska there's only one high-quality internet provider, and they won't give you decent internet for less than about $100 a month, unless you get cable as well, in which case it's $150 a month. I am a cheapskate, so we have the $35 internet service which takes so long to upload pictures that , by the time I had all seven photos I wanted to post, the page started to freak out and they were lost. The Internet Gods spake thusly: "What hubris, mortal, to post seven photos with your crappy internet. WE DEMAND AN OFFERING OF $100/MONTH!!! Let this be a lesson." It would have been easier to get these pictures to you if I had carried them to you by crossing the Pacific on a raft built by Thor Heyerdahl. I got these five to load, and now I'm trying to load the last two, but the message on the "Upload Images" page says something like, "Yeah sure, I'll get right on that, pal." So I'm not getting my hopes up. In the meantime, here is a word-for-word transcript of a conversation between Lincoln and me today, illustrated by pictures I took a few weeks ago.]
Me: Hey Lincoln.
Lincoln: Hi Dad, what's up?
Me: Well, ASU has a big game coming up against Oregon next week, and we've had a lot of injuries along the offensive line, and we haven't been run-blocking real well, so they need a third-string right guard. They heard you were gigantic, so they want you to enroll at ASU and join the team.
Lincoln: WHAAAT!!! I can't play for ASU! How can I enroll in college if I can't even read?
Lincoln: Well, this is exciting. How do I begin?
Me: We need to do some blocking drills and go over the playb-
Lincoln: WHOA, LOOK AT THE CEILING FAN!!!!!!
Me: Lincoln, I'm going to need you to focus; we only have a few days. Let's start with some stretches.
Lincoln: I'm all over it, Dad.
Me: Hey Lincoln.
Lincoln: Hi Dad, what's up?Me: Well, ASU has a big game coming up against Oregon next week, and we've had a lot of injuries along the offensive line, and we haven't been run-blocking real well, so they need a third-string right guard. They heard you were gigantic, so they want you to enroll at ASU and join the team.
Lincoln: WHAAAT!!! I can't play for ASU! How can I enroll in college if I can't even read?
Me: Trust me, reading is not required for NCAA athletes. Just ask Kemba Walker: http://espn.go.com/blog/collegebasketballnation/post/_/id/29758/kemba-walker-recently-read-his-first-book
Lincoln: Well, this is exciting. How do I begin?
Me: We need to do some blocking drills and go over the playb-
Lincoln: WHOA, LOOK AT THE CEILING FAN!!!!!!Me: Lincoln, I'm going to need you to focus; we only have a few days. Let's start with some stretches.
Lincoln: I'm all over it, Dad.
8 comments:
Oh My Goodness Lincoln is soooo cute!! He has grown up so much :)
That was a great laugh! Love it. Let us know when he's playing - we'll be sure to watch.
My concern isn't so much about knowing how to read as much as knowing how to WALK. Unless he's planning on steamrolling the offense.
Steamrolling is the new move in football.
There is definitly Michelle in that little, cute face! :)
So freaking cute! Love him!
Funny. :) Love the stretches. heehee
I just read this post again. The ceiling fan comment is especially hilarious all over again.
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