If you can bring yourself to read this whole thing, I’ve got an awesome idea.On Saturday Michelle and I watched The Dark Knight with the kids in my Sunday School class (they swear it’s ok with their parents). It was the third time I’ve watched it, and I distinctly thought “If this doesn’t get at least nominated for best picture, then the Oscars have no meaning.” It’s a superbly-executed allegory for the moral conflicts of the War on Terror. Heath Ledger as the Joker is the perfect portrayal of a Nietzchean Superman. Surely if any action movie can be nominated, it’s this one. There are only two minor flaws in the movie: 1) a couple of plot holes that you don’t even think about until later, and 2) Maggie Gyllenhall looks like the kind of crazy girl that I will warn my sons about, the kind that writes depressing poetry and doesn’t wash her hair for weeks at a time. It actually made me miss Katie Holmes.
Well, the nominees came out today: 1. Slumdog Millionaire 2. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. 3. Frost/Nixon 4. Milk 5. The Reader
I looked it up, and the highest grossing movie from among these five was “Benjamin Button”. It was the #22 among all the movies released last year. Slumdog Millionaire was #62. “Milk” was #111, Frost/Nixon was #145, and The Reader was #148. This means there are two movies nominated for “Best Picture” that were apparently less desirable to audiences than “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything” (#127). Three of those movies put together made less than “Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay” (#75). And The Dark Knight was seen by three times as many people as all five nominees combined.
This is why I don't watch the Oscars. Basically, Hollywood types are like mopey teenagers who only like bands that no one has ever heard of, but claim that they liked all the popular bands "before they got big". They should have just dubbed the movie in Cantonese and called it "Crouching Joker, Hidden Batman." Then the critics would have loved it. Do you think anyone is going to watch “The Reader” ten or twenty years from now? No one is watching it now, for crying out loud. Apparently movies are like food; if it tastes good, it must be bad for you.
I realize that the boring “critically acclaimed” movies aren’t going anywhere. So here’s my suggestion: Just like how the NCAA Basketball Tournament has East, West, South and Midwest brackets, the Best Picture Oscar should have brackets for different kinds of movies. Here are my suggested brackets:
1. The “Blockbuster” Bracket: Because at least one of the nominees ought to be a movie people care about.
2. The “Discrimination Film” Bracket: Because people still just don’t understand how hard it can be to grow up in this country as a minority/woman/disabled/left-handed/gay/Canadian/ex-con/pedophile/communist/terrorist.
3. The “Holocaust/Nazi” Bracket: Because Fascism is all you have left when you refuse to acknowledge the millions of people who were killed by the Communists.
4. The “Depressing Movies About People Who Hate Life Where the Protagonist is Just as Spiteful, Dishonest, Adulterous and Selfish as the Antagonist” Bracket: Because Hollywood loves characters with “nuance”. Note to movie directors: there’s a problem with your movie if I want both the "good guy" and the "bad guy" to die.
5. I can’t decide whether to make this the “Biopic” Bracket or the “Anything with Meryl Streep in it” Bracket, because there’s going to be one of these nominated every year.
Sariah just emailed me the pictures we took on her camera of our sledding trip at Soldier Hollow over the break. It's becoming sort of a tradition and I love it! There had been a snowstorm recently so we found the first few times down it was easy to find yourself stopping on the middle of the hill. But we're pretty much professional sledders so we developed a system that I believe people were jealous of. I won't reveal our secrets, but I will say we had a blast flying down in record speed.
I'd like to begin by telling you a fact which I just learned: "Alaska" is actually an Eskimo word which means, "Dang it's cold here...Hey, is Ninjook dead or are his eyes just frozen shut?"
Like many of you, we haven't posted anything recently because of Christmas. Michelle and I flew down to Utah for a couple of weeks to visit family. We don't have a ton of pictures, but here are some highlights:
My buddy Nate finally ties the knot up in Boise (Not to me; his wife was somewhere around there): Michelle and my sister Amber eating some hot steaming pineapple at Toucano's during my brother Logan's birthday dinner.Amber opens a present Christmas morning (she must have a nose for the camera)
Michelle improvised these cream cheese puffs on Christmas morning. They were delicious, but she refused to pose with them in full.
On our anniversary, we went snow-shoeing at Soldier Hollow. It wasn't part of our original plans, but when we looked up hotel rooms at the Homestead Resort, we found a room/breakfast/ski pass combo for only $58.00 on their website. We snapped it up immediately, finding out later that it was a typo and they meant to charge $258.00 for that combo. To their credit, they honored our original larcenous price.
Of course, if you scroll down on our blog, you'll see why we went snow-shoeing instead of skiing. (we're taking ski lessons next month) When we returned to Alaska, this is what our car looked like.
And now, many of you have been asking for moose pictures. We see moose all the time, but usually not when we have our camera with us. Well, this bull moose walked right in front of our apartment as we were about to go run some errands, so we got these photos. The bull moose are actually much harder to find than the cows.
These three were taken from inside the apartment: And this one from the car:
I don't want to promise anything, but we should have a few more posts soon.